Lights Off In The Lighthouse.

Buggeration.

2007-09-19T15:08:00.000+01:00

Sigh...

I did it again. I do forget to update this thing, but now I've fed my Facebook account an RSS feed (I confess, I have NO IDEA what that means) I might find myself updating more frequently!

I am ILL. Not just ill, but ILL. Even the full stop is in capitals, you just can't tell. I won't go into the gory and horrible details (unless you really want me to...) but I am not functioning in the fashion of a normal human being. Breathing is an issue, as is moving and eating. Blergh.

In Piratey News, we have our first show in November! Oh me oh my. Tickets will be on sale soon, and very limited be thee. They. Them? I'll post some more details once I get them back from the printers!

Um... that's it really, this was more a test to see if the feed works rather than a post of any real substance. I'm going back to my coccoon now.

Do You Wanna Be A Pirate?

2007-06-03T19:35:00.000+01:00

I didn't mention this here...

I'm running some auditions for the Pirate Fringe tour in York exactly one week today.

Sunday 10th of June 3pm - 6pm, call me (Jamie...) on 07917 718154 or email jamie_mckeller@hotmail.com for more detailios!

Pirates Alive... With the Sound of Muuuuusic!

2007-05-29T17:48:00.000+01:00

I've spent the last few days re-writing and writing new tracks for Pirate... and what the Hell, here's a sneak preview of a few tracks. No lyrics recorded onto them yet, but you can get an idea of the tracks I'm creating at the moment... drum machines all the way, alas. One day the show will have a live band, just not yet!

First up the ballad... the song that all the girls will want to sing!

Pirate of my Dreams
http://www.rocket-jim.co.uk/Pirate%20of%20My%20Dreams.mp3

Second, the new METAAAAAAAAL song that the evil pirate sings just before... something.

Already Dead
http://www.rocket-jim.co.uk/Already%20Dead.mp3

Third and final, the new finale number!

Yo Ho Rock
http://www.rocket-jim.co.uk/Yo%20Ho%20Lets%20Go.mp3

You may have to cut and paste, I haven't educated myself in the way of Blogger links yet!

Knocking Away the Dust...

2007-05-28T01:18:00.000+01:00

Jesus, I really did neglect this thing... with promises of updates and photos... videos and homebrew pornography... and what did you actually get? Nothing!

I am ashamed.

Stageworks is pretty busy at the moment, many things have happened and are happening. I guess this Blog didn't get updated as I'm not aware that anyone reads it, so I shall instead just use it as a sort of chronicling of my insane journies, and if anyone else reads them... well I guess that's just a bonus.

We (myself and Lucy Todd, brave newcomer to the pack) performed the quite silly "Eyes of the Spider" at the Perform '07 festival last week, and the very limited amount of people that actually saw it seemed to enjoy it! It was very messy... in terms of all the blood and guts "special effects". (For special effects, see fairy liquid bottles and food bags...)

In more exciting news... wait... what was the last thing I posted about?

Alice in Wonderland? Haha! Fuck. Yeah... that's... not happening.

WHAT? A Stageworks show cancelled? NEVER!!

Yes.

Shockingly we made a decision while dealing with anal retentive venue number 17 that "performing shows in open air venues that don't usually house theatre" is really not worth the immense amount of effort and dumbing down of the human language that it requires. Man can only say "it's a play... you know, a PLAY" so many hundred times before The Fever takes over and he embarks on some kind of "28 Days Later" killing spree, biting out the throats of multiple Trust employees.

We may try again in the future. But... then again... no.

So, Pirates. Remember that musical we staged many, many years ago? Well... Lucasarts were told about it... wait... this needs a swift recap... imagine swirly "falling through time music..." now!

We staged a musical about pirates in 2003... or 2004, I can't remember. Anyway, it was based on the Monkey Island video games. At the time Lucasarts... they didn't give a fuck about it. I tried to tell them, but they were just dismissive and rude... so we tore the guts out of it, changed all the names and most of the story... but it was still Monkey Island at heart. And Jesus, was it a long show? Yes. Yes it was.

So I rewrote it recently for a new, smaller cast... and it was STILL kind of Monkey Island, so I approached Lucasarts again, this time to be told "look, if there's no money involved, go away." Which... I did.

Very, very recently I received an email telling me to "dissolve all resemblence of the copywritten work *Monkey Island* and remove any dialogue that bears resemblence to yada yada... blah blah..." you get the idea. Seemed someone at Lucasarts awoke, slid down their huge pile of money and childrens bones and got a thorn in their balls about the production. So rehearsals ground to a halt, and I burnt the script and started all. Over. Again.

That's right, Pirate... my 88 page beauty of a script is to be reborn. I'm having to dump all the characters, including "Murray" (Oh God, how can I live without Murray!?!) and I'm having to find ways to replace the sheer lunacy with... better sheer lunacy.

I think I'm winning though. I have an entirely new set of characters, and I'm finding ways to fit all the original (alright... most of the original) songs in without them feeling forced. Alas, a few songs have fallen into No Man's Land... meaning some MORE new songs... yeah, you get the idea.

So that's where we are. Alice is off, Christmas Carol will hopefully happen this December in collaboration with the YSJ University Drama Society... Dracula is also in our heads.

Cat is still in Australia, so I'm kind of floundering alone really... Vicky resigned, Beth is training to be a teacher, and Nathan moved to Nepal to become a Bhuddist. So I'm really running the show on my own at the moment... which is fine, as I can make ridiculous decisions without asking permission, as well as put payment for prostitutes on the company expenses.

At least I would, if I used prostitutes, and if we had company expenses.

p.s - I watched Pirates 3 yesterday. By the time it ended my bumhole had healed over, and I couldn't remember how I got there.

It was... the salmon moose.

2007-01-18T19:14:00.000Z

High speed wind, power cuts, bone drilling... all these things and more have happened today.

I got the Grim Reaper costume finished, and I think it looks pretty good! I'm very fond of the pointing hand of doom... shame we didn't have it for Christmas Carol!

Tonight... I should be at rehearsals for the sketch show, but vehicles are getting tipped over and trees are flattening people - I'll be staying in my warm, safe, treeless house with my feet squashed up against the radiator. I should do some work on the Alice script, but I'm tired out and anything I write tonight would probably be utter garbage! (But what else is new?!)

I need something sweet... I may journey to the Local Shop and buy some wine gums. ROCK ON!

Roll Dem Bones.

2007-01-17T23:18:00.000Z

Look out, look out... it's likely I'll be posting a lot more often now as we near auditions and rehearsals for Alice in Wonderland!

The script is almost done. Almost... Christmas time as always providing far too many distractions! Sadly Vicky Hollings had to drop out of the role of the Queen of Hearts due to other commitments, and our beloved finance manager Cat Moss is in Australia for the next few months!

So we're now not only looking for someone to play Alice, but a King and Queen of Hearts! (As well as card guards, gryphons, Humpty Dumpty and a dinosaur. Okay, maybe not a dinosaur... although the script is a little odd.)

I made the FIRST PROP today! In act two we meet the Executioner, played by Beth Stephenson (under a lot of prosthetics and hair...) and she will be wielding Mungo!

It got made first because it's going to be used in a sketch show as well... I'm also making a pointing Death hand! Rock!

However... all did not go so smoothly. You see the handles on the scythe? Those are the bones from a medical examination skeleton that Scarborough hospital donated to us years ago. I remember the debate we had as to whether or not the bones were real, but I couldn't remember the outcome. So there I was, sitting in our workshop trying to decide if the usage of human bones in the creation of theatrical props was morally wrong. I decided it was, and until I discovered the true nature of the skeleton, I probably shouldn't start drilling holes into it.

So I picked it up to put it away, only to discover that the ribs were made out of rubber... the drill was swiftly unpacked and holes were made.

Anyone involved in Pirate! - The Musical will appreciate this little nod...

Tomorrow I'll finish the hand, and then make a list of all the props I need to build over the coming months - I shall no doubt provide you all with photos and suitably waffling blog entries as I do.

I should probably mention tickets will be on sale in a month, with a final list of all the venues we're playing at to be posted sometime soon!

In the meantime... anyone interested in auditioning should probably email me or something. I'll be posting more details about the auditions next week, so just keep checking back here!

More Moving Pictures.

2006-11-23T13:40:00.000Z

It's not the video I said I would post, but it IS a video of the 1st read through.

Vicky is reading in for Alice, who is uncast at this time. The rest of the team are reading the roles that they will be playing in the production! I'll post videos of this same scene in rehearsals, development, and finally the performance.

A Mad Tea Party For Seven.

2006-11-22T23:29:00.000Z

Alright, so it's Wednesday night... two days late!

What news? What news?

Well... this news!

Christmas Carol was indeed cancelled. Perhaps trying to stage 3 productions in our first year was a little ambitious, although I maintain that we would have pulled 2 of them off...

We're still unsure as to why the Castle Museum refused our proposal after such a long period of back and forth emails, questions, and general stringing alongness... but we won't dwell on it.

So. To 2007 and 2008.

We've changed our summer '07 production to "Alice in Wonderland". The main reason was public appeal, and the fact that Brothers Grimm may not have sold as well. But we're putting our own mark on it. I'll post a short clip from the 1st readthrough soon which will give you an idea.

We're undecided as to whether or not we'll try for the Castle Museum again next year. We may try some alternative venues, which is a shame as I still believe the Museum is the only place for the production.

2008 is exciting! We're currently putting together a proposal for something involving...

Shakespeare.

Festival.

and...

Yorkshire.

More news on that when it becomes declassified.

We ain't dead...

2006-11-18T10:39:00.000Z

Not at all...

We're fallen pretty quiet over the last few months, but this doesn't mean we haven't worked our socks off!

I'll make a proper update on Monday night regarding the craziness.

The Long Fall Down.

2006-09-05T22:09:00.000+01:00

2006 is turning out to be RUBBISH.

Firstly we cock up the Midsummer Nights Dream plans, (our fault by our own admission - who knew theatres planned so very, very far ahead?!) then our plans to stage Dracula at this years WGW are utterly squashed by the arrival of the knowledge that another company is already staging the show there, (and apparently not advertising until a few weeks before, to maximise the attention... okay?) and finally, to jam the nail firmly into the coffin... after five months of emails, phone calls, bits of paper, "yes", "no", "maybe", and me generally delivering everything they asked for to then wait a week for an email that read "but what if..." the Castle Museum decided to cancel / reject / fire into space the production that we had auditioned / budgeted / designed / adapted and GOD KNOWS ELSE WHAT for.

Luckily the actors (well, all but one or two) involved took it well, and understand that it's just way out of our control. If the Man In The Suit says "NO..." there's not really much else we can do. That's the problem with trying to perform in none theatrical venues, they're not qell equipped, nor do they know the preparation and work that goes into a production.

If anyone has need of a costume rail full of Dickens era costumes...

I've had to endure some angry, angry emails this week because of this, amongst other things, and as much as I understand why people would be upset, I think they could do with sitting down and thinking about us. All the miles driven, money spent, hours wasted on something that was cancelled by a 20 second email. I wish I could sit down face to face and just go "sorry, sorry, sorry" and try to make them see it's not my fault.

Kind thanks of course to those actors that not only sympathised with the situation, but offered advice and help, instead of calling me things like "arrogant", "unprofessional", and many other colourful things. Cheque is in the post.

So... 2006 is pretty much over for us now. Sometime this month myself, Beth, Cat, Nathan and Vicky will pick ourselves up, dust each other down and search the wreckage to see what we can do next. My money is on a bigger, better tour of Bouncers in early 2007, or possibly an original script? I know that "Brothers Grimm" is still scheduled for June and July 2007, and I hope to get to do Dracula next year also.

So that's it, in a nutshell. I'm sorry to those that feel I did this to upset you, make you mad, or just for fun, but you're wrong. I'd much rather be working my arse off in preparation for the tours than writing this and getting yelled at, but them's the breaks, or... they aren't as it seems the case is.

Yeah... we look like total idiots now, but I'll prove to you we're not.

The End of Chapter One.

2006-07-31T14:09:00.000+01:00

Now... for a real summary/update/review of Stageworks first tour!

As I probably said earlier on in this, this Blog of a true champion, the Arts Council was very keen on us staging our first tour on our own, to show "willing" I think, or to show we were/are commited to the company.

Well, let me tell you this... staging a theatrical tour with no more money than the company heads can afford to chip in is no small deal. It's hard. Really hard. We've worked our fingers down to rusty looking, smelly stubs... we've argued, fought, fell out, or "loudly debated the facts" as I like to call it. We've lost hours at work in the "real world" losing us money... we've missed social events because all our cash has span away into this cheap looking 60's B-Movie black hole spiral that was the tour. We had to build the bar for Shakers out of a fire door, and some old stage blocks for God's sake.

It still looked pretty good though.

We played Howden, Scarborough, Leeds, Filey and Selby. Sawden and Terrington were on the list, but I think the Earth cracked open and swallowed them both, or at least their BT lines. York was also in there, but the venue... well, the less said the better I think!

So we managed five shows, which were - in respective order... Good, Good, Horrible, Amazing, Great. Let me tell you, playing a show in the city centre of Leeds to NINE people? Not an experience I would ever want to repeat. EVER.

For Shakers we had our very own Cat Moss and Beth Stephenson, as well as Jade Celeste and Dominique Epton, who are sisters. Yes, I got a bit confused as well! Dominique was cast from the Westwood rehearsals which now seem an utter age ago, and Jade was cast in a blind panic on the monday morning of the rehearsals when the girl originally cast had to drop out of the show! Jade's "straw sucking face" will stay with me forever and ever... and Dominique's pervy old men characters haunt my dreams still. The girls worked together incredibly, although the mass panics and "it's not my bloody line" moments were a little scary to see fifteen minutes before the curtain went up!

For Bouncers we had myself, our work experience boy Nathan Bottomley, Alistair Reith and John Forde. John never got the opening dance sequence right. Once. Alistair and Nathan's Gay Disco Cowboys are immortalised in my fragile mind for the rest of eternity. Damn you.

There's a chance that Bouncers will resurface in September to do a lightning tour of colleges and universities... I hope it does. It was a very, very sweaty play, but it was a very, very fun play.

Now... it's all settled. The set is packed away (the fire door bar is in the skip...) and the costumes are getting a damn good dry cleaning. Ew. Ew. Ew. I'm currently surrounded by invoices, bills, receipts, and cash... a reasonable lump of cash that is slowly dripping away into the plughole of theatre. Noone is going to get rich off this tour, but at least we had a laugh, and it didn't cost us anything to put on, and I think that's one of the important things!!

Christmas Carol next at the Castle Museum in York, followed by... let's just say something a little bit special for Summer 2007.

Next time I update this... it'll be Chapter Two - The Perils of Funding.

This is the end... My only friend...

2006-07-30T12:09:00.000+01:00

*cymbal crash*

And that's the end!

THE END!

Of the Bouncers and Shakers tour.

Of our first (hopefully) none funded productions!

Of trying to create something with 11p and some dry crackers.

Of performing in small venues with no lighting, staff, or a roof!

In brief... though it was a struggle sometimes I had a wonderful time! Filey was by far the most enjoyable. The staff were friendly and helpful and even sold a lot of tickets for us! One venue we played it didn't even put up one poster! Goons!

I'll write a more detailed entry later, but it's Sunday and I'm lazy.

Not-So-Dull-Update!

2006-07-23T23:08:00.000+01:00

Crikey, that last post reads a bit melodramatically, and doesn't even put across the point I was trying to make!

What I meant was... it pretty much sucks that myself and the other cast / crew of the show have put in such tremendous amounts of work, energy, and time to create what I honestly believe to be two pretty damn good, funny shows, certainly an enjoyable two hours, so it frustrates me to no end to see Alistair's mighty heart breaking at the prospect of his parents coming to see him onstage when there's under 10 people sat there... not too mention Dominique and Jade's parent, who have supported their daughters at every single show we've done, and plan to make it to ever show we stage in the future.

It's frustrating as people often just don't give theatre the chance, opting to sit in and watch reality TV, or go watch something like Garfield 2... dammit people! Theatre is an English Heritage, or... something.

Hopefully the next couple of shows will make the last couple of months worthwhile! I'm honestly considering giving away tickets for Filey for free, just to get bums on seats!!

DATA LOVES US!

2006-07-21T01:53:00.000+01:00

Yes. Brent Spiner. Data from Star Trek.

He likes our Little Shop of Horrors.

"good job" says heavily painted android man.

How utterly, utterly random, bizarre, and warm-fuzzy-feeling generating.

Suddenly... Seamonkies?

2006-07-19T00:12:00.000+01:00

Not an actual update... that will come soon, after a veeeeeery important meeting on Thursday night.

However... I offer proof that we ARE WORKING AS HARD AS POSSIBLE, and not totally GOOFING AROUND.

Oh yes.

Much less "gloomage" now.

2006-07-09T15:12:00.000+01:00

Yeah, last night - Scarborough. Home. The homecoming gig I suppose. Very odd.

So we turned up a the venue dead on 4pm to discover the following!

1 - No posters! Anywhere! Nothing! No indication AT ALL that we were paying £100 to use a ballroom in the venue to stage a play.
2 - The guests that were ACTUALLY STAYING IN THE HOTEL had no idea a double bill of Godber shows was happening in the hotel they were staying in!
3 - Two weeks ago I was asked "how would you like the seating". This was clearly ignored!
4 - No member of staff actually acknowledged our presence, unless serving us at the bar!
5 - Pants. Pants. Pants.

So, we rallied forth, plastered the outside of the venue with posters and signs and hoped for the best! The fact that the local press hadn't actually mentioned the event has happening, the fact that a Scarborough based radio station didn't mention once in their listings, the fact that people who are (were? who knows!) close friends of mine just couldn't even be arsed to show up and support us - instead acting like spoiled five year olds, and the fact that the moon was waxed fat I seriously expected six or seven people to show.

So i was quite happy that we sold just under half of the house!

The shows... were... interesting. Luckily for us the audience were really with us, but we can't, cannot, cannae, NOOOOT ever again put the shows out as battered and raggedy as they were last night. True - they were both very, very funny, but they felt improvised, and not unlike clutching to the roof of a speeding train, the driver of which has slumped into a whisky induced coma.

The HORRORS.

Get out was swift, lots of audience feedback including (I have to print these two, they are the quotes of LEGENDS...)

1 - "I've seen Bouncers seven times, done by professionals, and this was the funniest one I've seen."

2 - "The last and only time we laughed like that was when we went to see Peter Kay live."

So there. In your greasy faces, oh Scarborough people who just didn't turn up. My advice? Stop acting like fools and buy your tickets for the Filey show on the 25th of July, come along, laugh until various bits of your body fall off, and then ask your friend to kick you square in the crotch for not coming to see it in Scarborough.

So there.

GLOOM.

2006-07-06T11:45:00.000+01:00

Having one of those fun "what the hell am I doing days" today.

I hear Malton Bacon Factory are always hiring!

Lost in Lost...

2006-07-05T00:19:00.000+01:00

Just watched Lost... why did Locke hit Charlie when what the boy clearly needs is a big cup of coffee and a hug?

I left this going while I watched Lost... and now it's here! A longer scene this time... 6 minutes longer in fact!

Technology Is King.

2006-07-04T22:50:00.000+01:00

Bouncers? Gah ahhhn tharrn...

Reeeeeeeeeally short clip. About 45 seconds I think!

So yeah! HOW HOT IS IT? Too hot. Dammit. We continue onwards in that busy way we do... it's all about the Bouncers tour at the moment, hence the lack of posts. If I posted daily it'd just be...

1 - Rang some people
2 - Rang them again
3 - Went to town X, put out X amout of posters, sold X tickets...

And so on... pretty dull, huh?

Hurrah!

2006-06-25T15:30:00.000+01:00

By diggidy... that went well!

Not the full house that I hoped for, but we almost hit the audience number I had expected. We covered our costs, made a little extra, but most importantly we had a really good time.

At least I did, I can't speak for the rest of the cast! :D

The lighting was simple but effective, and the audience were really with us, laughing in all the right places, and cheering at the end, and going "eeew" at the gross bits.

Awesome.

Scarborough next after a weird 13 day break which sucks, but we couldn't get a nice venue to take us next weekend!

The Sleep of The Titans.

2006-06-17T10:09:00.000+01:00

For the first time in... I don't know how long I slept after 9:30am!

Today I plan to do nothing, that's right, you heard me... NOTHING to do with the theatre company. I intend to tidy the house, maybe go for a walk, cook some good food, play on my Playstation, generally do anything but theatre stuff!

In theatre news... that's it! The rehearsals are over! Done! Finished! Shakers is brilliant, really tight, smooth and well-rehearsed, whereas Bouncers has proven a little more... what's a good word here?

"Random"? No... "Creative"? No...

Ah yes... "Totally bat shit crazy."

It's hilariously funny, utterly filthy, and quite mental, just a little bit unpredictable in some places. I won't lie, we could have used another two or three days rehearsal time due to the hiccuppy start, but I feel good about where both shows are. Our first gig is one week today, and if people actually show up to see it, it'll be a blinder!

Copyright on this show proves to be a tricky one. Once we had determined that we would have to apply / send cheque for every show, rather than pay one large amount at the end of the tour, we attempted to make the payment for our first two shows. This is proving rather tricky. No application form has arrived yet. No emails have received answers, and our carrier puffins came back looking slightly aware of humans and had a disturbed look in their eyes.

SO... that's it! No, wait... there are also a load of press releases and photos at the website -

Right! I'm off to potato that couch...

Burn Baby Brun!

2006-06-09T21:46:00.000+01:00

And so the first week of rehearsals draw to a close, and jolly fun it was!

I won't lie. This is pant wetting fear I have right here. Oh yes. There's so much pressure on us to pull this off it's almost unreal. We need to do this, and do this well so...

1 - The last seven months weren't a total waste of time and energy and... seven months.
2 - The Arts Council recognise how truly awesome we are, and fund us.
3 - Potential sponsors see we're more than an "idea".
4 - We can make some darn pesky cash money.
5 - We can live the dream, baby.

Shakers has overtaken Bouncers in terms of the amount of work done, probably because Bouncers seems to gain a choreographed sequence every hour, including the now legendary "Gay Cowboy Dance" and our scarily convincing lady-dancing! (Especially mine I was told - not sure if I should be proud or worried.)

The whole "Ooooh you're a theatre company you must have money falling out of your arse" way of thinking continues. Venues are charging a fair old bit of the moolah, one so much we had to cancel. 60 seats, and they wanted £100 off us! A venue we're playing with 170 seat is only charging us £14 more than that! MENTAL!

We're trying to convince the copyright owners of Bouncers and Shakers to allow us to pay the copyright fees after we finish the tour. This isn't because we're cheap, well, not JUST because we're cheap, but mainly because it would mean a lot less work for us and them. But it seems we're going to have to apply and send a cheque off for every show we do. We don't mind, but it's going to make a lot more work for somebody down in London. I just thought it would be more practical for us all, and easier for them, but apparently "they don't ever do things like that".

Which is odd, really. Three weeks ago I was told it shouldn't be a problem, and that they do it all the time. Pretty severe change of policy there methinks!

Myself and Alistair have bounced a lot of ideas for Dracula off each other in the 70 mile trip to Scarborough each day. Ideas involving red silks, wigs, trapeze swings and castings. Things are also looking up on the Castle Museum frontas well - I'm just waiting for a phone call or email to set up a face to face meeting!

So... I'm sunburnt, still full of last nights BBQ, I get a slight lie in tomorrow (bed past 8am? Get in!) before zoomingback to Scarborough to construct the bar room set for Shakers!

But now... I'm off to play GTA : San Andreas until I can't keep my eyes open.

Day One...

2006-06-05T20:44:00.000+01:00

Today was the first day of the rehearsals, and to be totally honest... it went a hell of a lot better than it could!

The day started early for us, as we had to load up the car, pick up Alistair, and then trundle the 60 mile trip to the rehearsal room in Scarborough. The sun was shining, the air was crisp and clear, and my car was gliding along peacefully.

Then the phone rang, and I was told by the voice on the end that one of the actors that I cast in Shakers wasn't going to be able to do the show. They had very, very good reasons for not doing the show, but I still felt my underpants fill with the terror.

We got to Scarborough, and unloaded all the gear into the room, and then set about the task of recasting at very, very short notice. I'd left all the CV's in Selby as I didn't think for a second that we would need them! After a few texts, phone calls, and much pacing, one of the other actors in Shakers declared that her sister was training in theatre at a nearby college, so one phone call later and she was on the way.

However... one of the actors cast in Bouncers hadn't shown up now. Fear gripped my balls like some ice cold skeletal hand. However a swift phone call discovered he was on the way, just a few Monday morning problems had held us up.

So on we went! Long chats about where we hope to head, introductions were made, apologies about the crazy, hairy start were made by me (I looked at Alistair and truly believed he was in shock, and was going to go home at any minute...) and then we read Shakers for the first time!

After lunch we read Bouncers, and I was stunned at how short it is. Shakers is marginally longer, and I'm sure that once we pad it out with the dancing, the rapping, and the general shindiggery, it will be longer and require some cutting!

After a brief session of flicking through some music tracks and deciding that some cheesy 80's Grand Master Flash rap was the ONLY way to open Bouncers, we cleared up and went home... which is where I am now, tired, full of pasta, yet oddly fulfilled.

I'm looking forwards to tomorrow so much, it's filthy.

XXX-Men.

2006-05-26T21:35:00.000+01:00

X-Men 3 was really, really goooooooooooood.

Oh yes, oh yay.

Everything continues to tick along nicely in our run up to our first intense rehearsal session! I'll be emailing the actors we want to use in Dracula tonight, and then calling them later on in the week to have a little chat!

It's all too much I tells ya!

p.s - I wanna be a mutant. Or a wizard. Either will do.

Fangs for the Mammories.

2006-05-24T13:44:00.000+01:00

I got sent home from work an hour early yesterday after I almost vomited over a woman! Seems I have a rather nasty throat infection... dammit! Anyway, no time for rest so today I'm in the office printing, laminating, folding, ringing, worrying... the usual.

I still need to call the actors we're using in Dracula. We've made the decision to stage Liz Lochhead's version as I just won't have the time to adapt the book, and really do it justice. Christmas Carol took me three months to do, and I'm still making changes to that. Plus I have Alice in Wonderland to utterly, utterly rewrite plus all the songs... and the revisions to Pirate! Taking on the task of adapting such a mammoth novel at this time would be sheer lunacy, and it would probably end up sounding a load of old balls. Oh yes!

Lost has captivated me again. This series was feeling a little slow until last night, and then Oh. My. Lordy. The rage in Sayid's eyes. I'm pretty sure he won't kill her but oh me, oh my, I love it so.

I've even chosen to love Big Brother this year, and found myself almost shouting at the screen at Shabaz's antics. If this is the way that television culture is heading, I shall gayly embrace it, love it hard, and do so with a camp grin on my face.

BOO! Hahahhaha!

2006-05-21T19:47:00.000+01:00

Poor blog... so neglected!

It's a very busy time! We're currently putting together our "for the love all that is good give us some funding" applications, as well as working hard on the pre-production tasks involved in running a mini-tour (more than you would think... the red tape of DOOM! DOOOOM!) as well as casting our big Autumn / Winter tours.

Tickets, posters, programmes, marketing, money, websites, finance and many many more. It's all rather dull I'm afraid, but it needs doing so we won't whinge about it. Much.

What about me? Well, I'm currently working on the acting team in the York Dungeon... click on York, you dummies. It's a hell of a lot of fun, if not utterly exhausting, but in the last few days I've performed several live shows to more people than the total audience of a show I was in last year! And they're right in front of you, which is a crazy experience, but utterly divine in it's own right. It's also very, very refreshing to just act, and not worry about ticket sales, costumes, props... lighting, oh God!

Oh the scares! People throw up in there! They faint, pass out, scream and yelp in fear! THE POWER! THE TRUE AWESOME POWER AND IT'S ALL MINE!! MINE I SAY!! MUAAAHHAHAHAHAHA!

As you can see I'm still in character...

We start rehearsals for Bouncers and Shakers in two weeks! Where the Hell did the time go? I'm not working many hours next week, so I have a little time to get everything out of the way before I work a crazy full week at the Dungeon, finishing there on the 4th, before walking into rehearsals on the 5th for two weeks.

Busy... busy times.

Excuses...

2006-05-21T00:09:00.000+01:00

Too long without an update, so I shall postpone it even longer and write one tomorrow.

Needless to say I'm stupidly busy, and tonight was sort of my first night off in a while, except I had more scripts to learn... more on that tomorrow as well!

Now... I must sleep.

We're Marley and Marley.... Woaoooaoahhhh!!!

2006-05-10T12:23:00.000+01:00

It's the day after the two days of auditions for our Autumn / Winter productions, and a very odd two days it was!

We saw a number of people, and the standard was high throughout the days, with some serious competition for roles such as "Belle", "Renfield", and "Fred". Belle / mina / Lucy is going to be a real bitch to cast, as every actress we saw gave us a strong audition, and took well to the rather sudden changes of pace we threw at them.

One Renfield audition had Aidan running for the door as the actor bit him on the arm! Wonderful! Scary for Aidan, great audition for me!

A few people just didn't show up on the second day, which infuriated me as we'd spent a great deal of time choosing who to see on the two days, and we sacrificed a few actors (not actually sacrificed...) because of the small amount of time that we had... these people could have had an audition after all! How rude!

No Scrooges or Marleys though, so I think we'll have to hold a second audition day just to cast those characters (unless I can persuade Allan Thorndyke to return... his Marley was phenomenal, and I doubt anyone will come close to what he did with it. Unless of course they're an actual ghost with the power of flight, which is very unlikely.

So Sunday brings upon us a day of BBQ food, wine, and the casting of several roles. This week I have to approach several major venues and persuade them to let us perform the shows in their truly magnificent spaces... it's all very worrying. I feel I've auditioned people too early, but we had already hired the space so it was a bit dumb not to make use of it.

We have cast Bouncers (possibly...) and Shakers (also possibly...) I'm just waiting on a few phone calls / surgeries / managers to run their course, and then I can give answers to those that auditioned for the two productions.

The Dawning of the Dawn.

2006-05-07T14:49:00.000+01:00

It is the dawn of the auditions. The dawn of the first day of "real work" for the company. So far there's being little else other than stacks and stacks of paperwork, hundreds of phone calls, new cv's arriving in the post every day (still arriving, although the advert was weeks ago, and we're seeing people tomorrow!) causing us the household debate "who opens the mail?"

I argued for me, as it has "Jamie McKeller" on it. Beth argued her, as it has "Stageworks Theatre" on it. I won, because she's small and doesn't fight very well. Two jabs to the face and she went down.

No. Not really. I just want to stress that I DO NOT BEAT MY GIRLFRIEND.

Unless she needs to be put in her place.

Anyway... later today I'll be zipping down the A64 to Scarborough to collect fellow Stageworks brainchild Nathan, and then back up the A64 into the heart of York to collect Aidan McCarthy, the actor I mentioned on here a week or two ago. He was going to be with us for Dracula and Christmas Carol (at least I hoped he was!) but the lucky devil is now touring the country in "Danny - Champion of the World", earning real money, buh jeebus!

In the early hours of the morning we will awake, consume vast amounts of coffee and pig, and then ride saddle high into York city centre... and LO, it will begin. Two days of auditions, workshops, improv, games, krusties sandwiches* and more silliness than you can possibly imagine.

Sensible silliness, of course.

* Krusties - the best sandwich shop in the world. Seriously.

Huh, I don't remember eating that...

2006-05-03T22:15:00.000+01:00

I'm out of action at the moment due to food poisoning.

FOOD POISONING DAMMIT!

As if a truck ran me over... is how I feel. I have so much work to do it's unreal, yet I can't move from the sofa. Well, I can... because I got here to type this, but only because Pimp My Ride UK started on MTV, and Tim "Big Dog" Westwood offends me more that animal porn.

This weeks tasks! Venues, beer keg, bar, cocktail shakers, rights, cash money go go, music, lighting equipment, disco lights, a goat, and illuminous orange fishing waders!

It may all make sense to you in the course of time.

Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect $200.

2006-05-01T12:46:00.000+01:00

Apologies for the radio silence... busy times for busy men, or something equally poetic.

I've booked several venues for our tour of Bouncers and Shakers over the last few days, and I keep finding the shadow of a company I used to work for looming over them. Now, I have no idea what happened, or why it happened, but I'm a bit annoyed that whatever these horrendous events were, they're casting the shadow of doubt as soon as I mention my name.

Were the staff at these venues briefed? Did this company practice Satanic rituals in the dressing rooms? What happened to cause such bitterness at the mention of this companies name?

I knoweth not these things. All I do know is two venues have had to ask for the hire fee in advance because they no longer trust professional theatre companies. This would be fine if we were funded, but we're not. We're just a ticket income supported group at the moment, and the current situation is that we're going to spend £1000 before we've set foot inside our first venue, sold our first ticket, handed over our first programme.

So, it is with a heavy heart that I must now begin selling advertising space in the show programme to help combat these bills. I just want to stress, I really dislike selling advertising space in the show programme...It means the programme has to have more pages, it has less overall content, and it means more work for yours truly.

In other news...The auditions are a week away. We are five weeks away from the first Bouncers/Shakers rehearsal...We NEED some arts funding, like...Last week. I'm scared shitless, and I'm struggling to find a job that is flexible enough for me to carry the immense workload I have, and yet allow me to earn a half decent wage to eat, pay rent... and to further cripple me and my girlfriend - we're currently taking on around 80% of the company outgoings, even though in the initial setup of this group the general agreement was that the finances would be a burden shared equally throughout the team until we succeeded in acquiring the golden joy of funding.

"I been laid off from work my rent is due
My kids all need brand new shoes
So I went to the bank to see what they could do
They said son looks like bad luck got a hold on you

Money's too tight to mention
I can't get an unemployment extension
Money's too tight to mention

I went to my brother to see what he could do
He said brother I'd like to help but I'm unable to
So called on my father, father
Almighty father, he said

Money's too tight to mention
Oh money money money money
Money's too tight to mention
I cant even qualify for my pension

We're talking about reaganomics
Oh lord down in the congress
They're passing all kinds of bills
From up there on capitol hill, we've tried it

Money's too tight to mention
Oh money money money money
Money's too tight to mention
Cutbacks!

We're talking about the dollar bill
And that old man who's over the hill
Now what are we all to do
When money's got a hold on you

Money's too tight etc.

We're talking about money money
We're talking about money money"

I don't have to buy my kids new shoes. I don't have any kids. But you get the general idea.

Lifting of the Funk.

2006-04-28T11:42:00.000+01:00

The Doom passed around 30 minutes after I made yesterdays post, mainly due to a fun game involving stickers, an apple, and Grim Fandango.

Today offers a much brighter outlook! I have a meeting at 1pm at a venue which looks very promising, I'll put a couple of pictures up when I get back.

The audition dates creep ever closer, and I'm a little nervous about them! No idea why though... I'm not the one auditioning! (To all those auditioning - I'll be gentle.) All the slots have gone now, except four in the afternoons, and a couple dotted very early in the a.m, but I doubt anyone from London is willing to hit York for 9:30 in the morning. I only live 20 or so miles away, and I'm going to struggle to get the for that time! :D

Anyway, I'm off now to do meetingy things, and secure a better future for our children.

Doomsday Dirge.

2006-04-27T17:30:00.000+01:00

Having one of those blue days today, and not the good kind of smutty, X-rated blue... but the fuggy blue that embodies the Long Dark Teatime of the Soul.

Surrounding this crazy ambition to quite simply create a little theatre company that can pay me a half decent salary (thus indulging my passion for theatre, food, AND paying rent on time!) are the things that I refer to as "The Ordinary Things."

As the weeks plough on, it's becoming clearer and clearer that I need a job to support myself. Jobseekers Allowance is nothing short of a joke (£52 a week? Insane!) and Beth's patience is wearing pretty thin. She's too lovely to say much about it, but I know it's there, and rightly so.

It's just... the thought of working 40 hours a week in somewhere like... gah... Morrisons... makes me feel violently ill. But what else is there for a graduate with a knowledge of theatre, theatre, and... theatre? It's I know, all I do, all I want to do.

"Work in a theatre" would probably be the best idea, but two months ago I sent out a CV and covering letter to every theatre in 50 miles. Only Hull Truck took the time and energy to acknowledge me, and even then it was a "thanks, but no thanks."

Days like this come and go. I have no doubt that in a couple of hours I'll be fresh as a fresh thing, but today has proved somewhat of an eye-opener. Not many people around me have faith that I'm going to make this thing work, and keep dropping hits like A-bombs that I should probably ditch the whole mission and work 9-5 in an office, feeling my soul drain away in a job I hate.

But hey... life revolves around metal discs and square green paper, so who am I to want a life I can look back on and smile? If I fail, so what. Like My Guru (Aidan) said a few weeks ago, at least I'm out here trying to do something.

Doooom.... GLOOOOOOOM.

In happier news, a really good venue confirmed us for "Bouncers" and "Shakers" today, which means that THREE THINGS have gone well in a row. Surely there's a pit ahead, filled with pointed bamboo shoots, vipers, and beartraps.

I can smell it...

God dag min vannina!

2006-04-26T14:26:00.000+01:00

Last night I topped up my theatrical campness level by watching the insanely good, the outrageously gay, the super loved up new version of "The Producers."

I'm a big fan of the original (having only discovered it recently I have formed a love of that film that few men will ever know) so I was a little wary that this new version that chose to put Will Ferrel and Uma Thurman in roles in what I thought to be a way of saying to general cinema audiences "I know Nathan Lane isn't commercially well known, and I know Matthew Broderick isn't a big hairy Hollywood sell-out, but hey, it's got WIll Ferrell in it!!"

But oh, how wrong I was. Ferrell almost stole the show, and would have done if any lesser actors were cast in the roles of Bloom and Bialystock! Nathan Lane was born to play that role. Broderick? Don't even get me started. He was amazing. I haven't laughed at a character that much... ever. I wish I could be half the actor that guy is, though not in height, for then I would be a midget.

Other films watched this week include "The Man" - AKA "The unfunniest comedy of the century" and...

"Doom". I loved this. It was silly, gory, loud, cheesy and fun. It was "Doom", and anyone that says stupid things like "it lacked intelligence" or "plotholes" need shoving through a portal to Mars.

In work news - I'm still battling through the CVs. My voice is on answerphone across the globe (or London... whatever) and I'm just waiting on a few people getting back to me.

This is Nothing, Look Away.

2006-04-25T23:13:00.000+01:00

This is just an RSS test, you should probably ignore it.

IGNORE IT.

Thanks.

You Fight Like a Dairy Farmer.

2006-04-25T17:11:00.001+01:00

Yesterday a massive, MASSIVE distraction came in the form of the ScummVM application.

For those of you that aren't huge, huge geeks like me (I am Geek, hear me roar) will probably not know the following...

In the olden days of computers, the time of 3.5 inch floppies (snigger) and tapes, yes tapes, there existed a series of games that could be described as the "point and click" adventure. Graphics weren't upto much those days, and 256 colours was a LOT, so these games relied heavily on humour in the form of basic graphics and text. I myself discovered this genre of game around the age of 12 or 13, and Monkey Island was the name. The adventures of young pirate wanna Guybrush Threepwood. It featured pirates, cannibals, ghosts, and rubber chickens.

I wanted to be Guybrush Threepwood.

So last night I was digging through an old pile of very sad looking, neglected CD cases, and I discovered a copy of the Monkey Island bounty pack. The first two Monkey Island games, plus the third one - the first Monkey Island game to use speech instead of text, it also had a massive graphical overhaul.

Looking something not unlike a Don Bluth cartoon, Guybrush had grown up, found a voice, and acquired a sidekick in the form of "Murray" the demonic all powerful uber skull. I don't need to say much more...

After installing ScummVM, a program which allowed me to emulate the surroundings of a very, very old PC, I started to play Monkey Island II, a game which took me months to complete in my early teens, probably due to the fact that is was spanned across 13 bloody discs, and they needed swapping every time the screen changed...

By 1am I had finished it, and LO, a warm glow filled my chilled heart. The ending sequence still confused my pants off though.

So if you rang me last night, or I rang you, or we had any form of telephonic communications between 5pm and 1am yesterday, chances are I was playing Monkey Island - the game that I hope to adapt into a family musical to be toured in 2007.

Circles, Round, Going?

2006-04-24T12:14:00.001+01:00

Doomsday.

Today is the day of heavy, serious phonecalls, answerphones, touchtone systems, and unreturned phonecalls.

Yes, today is "acquiring the rights" day.

In the past I have dealt with the rights for several shows. Hell, I remember when I was sixteen years old, studying theatre at college, and an old friend of mine informed me that "plays need to be bought, you can't just put on a writers work without paying for the right to do so, that's what copyright is all about."

My futile arguement from the perspective of an actor that would later evolve into a director/writer/ape-based organism was that "surely the joy of seing your work onstage would be payment enough?" How naive was I?

Several years later, in a very early incarnation of my theatre group, I published several of my playsripts online (they're still up there, the webhosting service has ignored my emails to take them down for five years!) and someone staged one of them without even notifying me. The news that someone had printed out my scripts, rehearsed, then ran the show for over a week made my blood boil! I wanted tickets, acknowledgement, and most of all... the cash!

Therefore, I understand why copyright should exist, and why performance fees are payable to the author. I just wish the people that governed these rights weren't so angry all the time! I don't think I can recall a single phone discussion regarding performance rights that has left me feling informed or elated. I always seem to feel slightly numb, a little unwashed, and very, very tired.

I'm currently waiting for my third call of the day to be returned. I've waited 45 minutes so far. I'm going outside to garden.

*update* I just had a very helpful, polite, and pleasant conversation with a member of the rights team at Joseph Weinberger! Not only did I find out pretty much everything I needed, I was also overjoyed at the price!

This tour may actually work...

Welcome... To CV Hill.

2006-04-23T19:11:00.000+01:00

I'm about halfway through the ridiculous amount of CV's I have to look over. Some people have sent photos that just leap out of the paper, some that are a bit... blah. I now understand the power of the headshot. Not the "brains all over the deck" headshot, but the actors headshot.

Some are just flat, dull, unremarkable... and when a director is faced with over a hundred of these things and has only 45 audition slots, just imagine if a director has 45 audition slots and a few hundred CV's. I'm quite glad I didn't bother advertising in the Stage now!

So far I've sorted out all of the male applicants, dropping only two or three out of the first round, all of them for the simple reason that they had a very modern look to them, and that's not what I'm looking for in these productions. (Obviously... it's Dracula and Christmas Carol...)

Beth will be looking over the female applicants later on tonight, and then early tomorrow afternoon we'll be making phonecalls to people to invite them upto York for the auditions.

But for now... it's all still phone calls and paperwork for me. Tomorrow brings a phonecall to a publishing house to discuss the way they'll want us to give them royalties for our forthcoming Bouncers / Shakers mini tour... I'm hoping that they'll be fairly relaxed about it, as the tour is going to be a bit whirlwind, a lot unorganised, and a lot... not rushed, but buzzing.

And by "buzzing" I mean "getting venues as we go along, selling tickets on the website and the door, screaming as we go and just generally hoping for the best."

P.s - Anyone want to go see Silent Hill with me? My girlfriend, as lovely and wise as she is, is a horror movie pansy.

Pointless Entry #1.

2006-04-23T00:32:00.000+01:00

Long day.

Mucho productivo.

Sleepo... now... oh.

The Beginning of the Diggening.

2006-04-21T20:32:00.000+01:00

Right now I am wearing a face coated with the emulsion of shock. Or in less weird times... "wow".

SO many cv's have arrived over the last three days that it has boggled my mind. The female to male ratio still stays heavily in favour of the ladies, why is that? I know more male actors than female, yet we must have had at least 80 actresses apply against maybe 20 actors. Weird.

I didn't sort through the cv's today... I know, I know, I said I was going to, but I've worked every day for the last month and I needed a break (not that I didn't do some work, I just didn't work a whole day!) to clear my head. So I went swimming for an hour, then came back and did some hardcore manly labour in the "garden". I use the word "garden" here rather loosely, as it's less like a garden, and more like a WWII blast site.

Jeebers.

I will prevail! In theatre news, our spiffing bow ties arrived from Ebay this morning (along with several more posted cv's!) and they're much better quality than I thought they would be for £1.78 each. Proper nylon, like! Woo!

Bow tie excitement aside, tomorrow brings a day of photoshoots with some cast members in Scarborough, where myself and Nathan "production hero" Bottomley will try to look... hard.

Ah hell... here are the bow ties. I know you were dying to see them!

The Floodening.

2006-04-20T23:18:00.000+01:00

Back in the olden days, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and primordial soup was bubbling away in a pool of goop, I ran an amateur group called "Purple Monkey". It was very silly, very fun, and just plain dumb. Then it became really time consuming... TOO time consuming, and suddenly it was a full time job. We had our own rehearsal studios, rent to pay, our shows started to appear in "real theatres" opposed to the damp corners of church basements. It was a hectic time, filled with twists, turns, surprises and shocks... and yet one thing always remained as a constant.

I never, EVER, had enough actors at the start of the play.

Sure, we'd get enough once word spread that we needed someone. A cast member would bring in a friend, or an old member of the group would return. Kidnapping and brain washing proved highly successful.

Last week I was talking to Aidan McCarthy, an actor I've worked with on several tours, and he suggested placing an ad in PCR (Production Casting Report) which I did, thinking it might get us one or two CV's...

It was sent out on Tuesday morning. By Tuesday afternoon my inbox was screaming in agony at the sheer bulk of emails that were arriving every hour. Wednesday morning brought the first batch of snail mail CV's, this morning brought even more. My inbox is STILL receiving applications as I type this.

It's a little overwhelming, exciting, daunting, and just plain scary. Some of the people applying have worked on The Basil Show. That's awesome. I love Basil Brush, even if he's not quite as gay as he used to be.

So... Tomorrow I have the task of looking at the characters in "Dracula" and "A Christmas Carol" and deciding who to invite up for an audition in York.

My only real regret is not having the time to audition every single one of the people that have taken the time to apply.

Can you tell I'm feeling pretty humbled by this?

Entry 001 - The Theatrical Revolution.

2006-04-20T18:47:00.000+01:00

Hi. Hello. Greetings.

This is the first entry on this Blog - how very exciting!

So, for the last several months I've found myself spiralling deeper and deeper down the rabbit-hole. Having given up my hazardous lifestyle of international search and rescue missions for the British Government last November, I decided to try my hand at this theatre company business. Hell, monkies that ride unicycles make money - why shouldn't I?

For close to seven years I worked in amateur circles as a Director, Writer, Actor, Stage Manager... as well as working as an actor, stage manager, general do-gooder and superhero within professional TV, film, and theatre... and after experiencing the good, the bad, and most definately the ugly, I decided that I wanted a shot at the helm. I had experience as an actor on the recieving end of a harsh audition panel, as a FOH manager and technical wizard, I've walked into theatres and found we were playing to 9 people in a 2000 seater venue, I've played to full houses, gone onstage with half a days rehearsal... I'm not sure what else, but it feels like quite a lot of experience for a 25 year old who grew up in a little seaside town.

So, armed with this weighted head crammed full of gooey theatrical trickery and the skills required to stage a blinder of a show on around £70 and a packet of wheat biscuit mix, Stageworks Theatre was forged from the darkness... or something equally cinematic pleasing to the eye. Picture the scene in Lord of the Rings when Sauron's minions are crafting all those mean looking pointy axes and things. Somewhere, in the dregs of all this lurked an idea that stole away into the night, across Middle Earth, and then got lost and ended up in my head. Weird, huh?

So this Blog is going to be an insight into the creation of a new professional theatre company - one mans quite ridiculous quest to just... put on some bloody shows that people will really, really enjoy. It'll be horribly honest I'm afraid, no glamourising of the nettle-ridden path I'm about to venture down, leading to either massive national success, or a job in Malton Bacon Factory.

I hope you enjoy reading my rambled writings.