Sigh...

I did it again. I do forget to update this thing, but now I've fed my Facebook account an RSS feed (I confess, I have NO IDEA what that means) I might find myself updating more frequently!

I am ILL. Not just ill, but ILL. Even the full stop is in capitals, you just can't tell. I won't go into the gory and horrible details (unless you really want me to...) but I am not functioning in the fashion of a normal human being. Breathing is an issue, as is moving and eating. Blergh.

In Piratey News, we have our first show in November! Oh me oh my. Tickets will be on sale soon, and very limited be thee. They. Them? I'll post some more details once I get them back from the printers!

Um... that's it really, this was more a test to see if the feed works rather than a post of any real substance. I'm going back to my coccoon now.

I didn't mention this here...

I'm running some auditions for the Pirate Fringe tour in York exactly one week today.

Sunday 10th of June 3pm - 6pm, call me (Jamie...) on 07917 718154 or email jamie_mckeller@hotmail.com for more detailios!

I've spent the last few days re-writing and writing new tracks for Pirate... and what the Hell, here's a sneak preview of a few tracks. No lyrics recorded onto them yet, but you can get an idea of the tracks I'm creating at the moment... drum machines all the way, alas. One day the show will have a live band, just not yet!

First up the ballad... the song that all the girls will want to sing!

Pirate of my Dreams
http://www.rocket-jim.co.uk/Pirate%20of%20My%20Dreams.mp3

Second, the new METAAAAAAAAL song that the evil pirate sings just before... something.

Already Dead
http://www.rocket-jim.co.uk/Already%20Dead.mp3

Third and final, the new finale number!

Yo Ho Rock
http://www.rocket-jim.co.uk/Yo%20Ho%20Lets%20Go.mp3

You may have to cut and paste, I haven't educated myself in the way of Blogger links yet!

Jesus, I really did neglect this thing... with promises of updates and photos... videos and homebrew pornography... and what did you actually get? Nothing!

I am ashamed.

Stageworks is pretty busy at the moment, many things have happened and are happening. I guess this Blog didn't get updated as I'm not aware that anyone reads it, so I shall instead just use it as a sort of chronicling of my insane journies, and if anyone else reads them... well I guess that's just a bonus.

We (myself and Lucy Todd, brave newcomer to the pack) performed the quite silly "Eyes of the Spider" at the Perform '07 festival last week, and the very limited amount of people that actually saw it seemed to enjoy it! It was very messy... in terms of all the blood and guts "special effects". (For special effects, see fairy liquid bottles and food bags...)

In more exciting news... wait... what was the last thing I posted about?

Alice in Wonderland? Haha! Fuck. Yeah... that's... not happening.

WHAT? A Stageworks show cancelled? NEVER!!

Yes.

Shockingly we made a decision while dealing with anal retentive venue number 17 that "performing shows in open air venues that don't usually house theatre" is really not worth the immense amount of effort and dumbing down of the human language that it requires. Man can only say "it's a play... you know, a PLAY" so many hundred times before The Fever takes over and he embarks on some kind of "28 Days Later" killing spree, biting out the throats of multiple Trust employees.

We may try again in the future. But... then again... no.

So, Pirates. Remember that musical we staged many, many years ago? Well... Lucasarts were told about it... wait... this needs a swift recap... imagine swirly "falling through time music..." now!

We staged a musical about pirates in 2003... or 2004, I can't remember. Anyway, it was based on the Monkey Island video games. At the time Lucasarts... they didn't give a fuck about it. I tried to tell them, but they were just dismissive and rude... so we tore the guts out of it, changed all the names and most of the story... but it was still Monkey Island at heart. And Jesus, was it a long show? Yes. Yes it was.

So I rewrote it recently for a new, smaller cast... and it was STILL kind of Monkey Island, so I approached Lucasarts again, this time to be told "look, if there's no money involved, go away." Which... I did.

Very, very recently I received an email telling me to "dissolve all resemblence of the copywritten work *Monkey Island* and remove any dialogue that bears resemblence to yada yada... blah blah..." you get the idea. Seemed someone at Lucasarts awoke, slid down their huge pile of money and childrens bones and got a thorn in their balls about the production. So rehearsals ground to a halt, and I burnt the script and started all. Over. Again.

That's right, Pirate... my 88 page beauty of a script is to be reborn. I'm having to dump all the characters, including "Murray" (Oh God, how can I live without Murray!?!) and I'm having to find ways to replace the sheer lunacy with... better sheer lunacy.

I think I'm winning though. I have an entirely new set of characters, and I'm finding ways to fit all the original (alright... most of the original) songs in without them feeling forced. Alas, a few songs have fallen into No Man's Land... meaning some MORE new songs... yeah, you get the idea.

So that's where we are. Alice is off, Christmas Carol will hopefully happen this December in collaboration with the YSJ University Drama Society... Dracula is also in our heads.

Cat is still in Australia, so I'm kind of floundering alone really... Vicky resigned, Beth is training to be a teacher, and Nathan moved to Nepal to become a Bhuddist. So I'm really running the show on my own at the moment... which is fine, as I can make ridiculous decisions without asking permission, as well as put payment for prostitutes on the company expenses.

At least I would, if I used prostitutes, and if we had company expenses.

p.s - I watched Pirates 3 yesterday. By the time it ended my bumhole had healed over, and I couldn't remember how I got there.

High speed wind, power cuts, bone drilling... all these things and more have happened today.

I got the Grim Reaper costume finished, and I think it looks pretty good! I'm very fond of the pointing hand of doom... shame we didn't have it for Christmas Carol!

Tonight... I should be at rehearsals for the sketch show, but vehicles are getting tipped over and trees are flattening people - I'll be staying in my warm, safe, treeless house with my feet squashed up against the radiator. I should do some work on the Alice script, but I'm tired out and anything I write tonight would probably be utter garbage! (But what else is new?!)

I need something sweet... I may journey to the Local Shop and buy some wine gums. ROCK ON!

Look out, look out... it's likely I'll be posting a lot more often now as we near auditions and rehearsals for Alice in Wonderland!

The script is almost done. Almost... Christmas time as always providing far too many distractions! Sadly Vicky Hollings had to drop out of the role of the Queen of Hearts due to other commitments, and our beloved finance manager Cat Moss is in Australia for the next few months!

So we're now not only looking for someone to play Alice, but a King and Queen of Hearts! (As well as card guards, gryphons, Humpty Dumpty and a dinosaur. Okay, maybe not a dinosaur... although the script is a little odd.)

I made the FIRST PROP today! In act two we meet the Executioner, played by Beth Stephenson (under a lot of prosthetics and hair...) and she will be wielding Mungo!

It got made first because it's going to be used in a sketch show as well... I'm also making a pointing Death hand! Rock!

However... all did not go so smoothly. You see the handles on the scythe? Those are the bones from a medical examination skeleton that Scarborough hospital donated to us years ago. I remember the debate we had as to whether or not the bones were real, but I couldn't remember the outcome. So there I was, sitting in our workshop trying to decide if the usage of human bones in the creation of theatrical props was morally wrong. I decided it was, and until I discovered the true nature of the skeleton, I probably shouldn't start drilling holes into it.

So I picked it up to put it away, only to discover that the ribs were made out of rubber... the drill was swiftly unpacked and holes were made.



Anyone involved in Pirate! - The Musical will appreciate this little nod...

Tomorrow I'll finish the hand, and then make a list of all the props I need to build over the coming months - I shall no doubt provide you all with photos and suitably waffling blog entries as I do.

I should probably mention tickets will be on sale in a month, with a final list of all the venues we're playing at to be posted sometime soon!

In the meantime... anyone interested in auditioning should probably email me or something. I'll be posting more details about the auditions next week, so just keep checking back here!

It's not the video I said I would post, but it IS a video of the 1st read through.

Vicky is reading in for Alice, who is uncast at this time. The rest of the team are reading the roles that they will be playing in the production! I'll post videos of this same scene in rehearsals, development, and finally the performance.